Passenger Seat
by Transatlanta
Summary: Ryan and Marissa face their feeling for each other, while Seth and Summer are still uneasy about their relationship. The four friends take a trip to visit Jimmy in Hawaii, where romance and drama will ensue...major RM, and some SS...please
1. Be Be your love

Ryan opened his eyes to the Newport sun. It was early, around seven o'clock, and he instantly remember his dream from the night before. It was one of the few times that he remembered a dream so vividly, but every detail stuck in his mind. He was at the Bait Shop, with Seth, Summer and Marissa. Lindsay wasn't there, but he didn't remember noticing. It wasn't important. He wasn't familiar w/ the band that was playing that night, nor was he listening to the music. They were just a blur in the background; he was so caught up in Marissa's beauty. It had been the first time since he'd come back to Newport that he really appreciated her magnificence. Everything about her made Ryan feel totally engaged in her presence. He remembered Seth and Summer walking off, Summer grabbing Seth's arm, both laughing and smiling at each other. Ryan then turned back to Marissa, her smile radiating more than ever. He slipped her delicate hand in his, no other thoughts in his mind except being there with her. They walked out of the club, heat radiating towards one another, a strong power binding them together…

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That was as far as Ryan had dreamt, and at that point he had woken up. He smiled at the dream, remembering how sweet it felt, even subconsciously. Then he caught himself. What was he doing? He remembered Lindsay, and how content he was with her. Wasn't he? Yes, of course he was, he told himself. She was smart, and pretty, and so safe. Still, Ryan thought, even Marissa in his dreams was more powerful than anyone else he'd dated in real life. Ryan shook off the thought, as if afraid of a truth he couldn't face.

Drawing the blankets off of his body, Ryan paused to yawn and soak in the light. Unfortunately, his peaceful silence was interrupted when he heard the door creak open. "Good morning, Seth," Ryan said through a yawn, not even stopping to look and see who it was. Seth was the only Cohen who didn't bother knocking, and came in every morning around this time. It was like an unnoticed ritual between the two of them. Seth threw himself into one of the cozy plush armchairs, and watched Ryan pull pants over his boxers. "What are you doing?" Ryan asked, awkwardly noticing Seth's fascination with his legs.

"I was admiring your calves Ryan."

Ryan again looked at him oddly, to which Seth responded, "Dude, what do you think I'm doing? What else would I be doing at 7: 15 in the morning? I'm brooding!"

"Oh right, you're doing the whole brooding thing now. And I suppose this is about Summer?"

"Why would you just assume that I was thinking about her? Maybe, maybe…I was thinking about some global crisis, some kind of epidemic I want to help solve."

Ryan wasn't buying this, and Seth admitted, "Okay, right, I was thinking about Summer. But tomorrow morning's all about the homeless people in Newport Beach."

"What homeless people?"

"I don't know man. I'm just taking it one county at a time. Like Chrismukkah-sweeping the nation slowly but surely."

By this time, Ryan was dressed, picked up his backpack, and walked out of the pool house, shaking his head at Seth. Talking to himself, Seth muttered, "I guess that was my cue," and walked out into the day.

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The bell rang at Harbor High, but no one seemed to be in a rush to get to classes. Ryan and Seth were walking down the hallway, Seth still complaining about Summer. "Sometimes I wonder what goes on in your brain," Ryan commented in response to Seth's tangent.

"Nothing goes on in there. Everything that goes on in there I tell you."

"No kidding," Ryan remarked, his eyes flashing Seth a sardonic look. "Now there's that signature Ryan Atwood face I've missed so much." Ryan intensified his glare on Seth. "Right. Shutting up now."

Looking in front of him, Seth noticed Summer and Marissa standing only two feet away. Summer, who had heard Seth's last comment, took the chance to insult his endless rants. "Cohen, we've been telling you to shut your mouth for a year now." Seth smiled and replied, "Summer, how nice to see you too. Didn't have enough coffee this morning?"

"I don't drink coffee in the morning, it makes me sick. Actually, I prefer tea lately. Zach introduced me to this amazing herbal relief brand, it really awakens my senses."

"Zach drinks tea? What kind of guy is he?"

"A much better one than you."

"Oh, thank you Summer. Your dry wit is greatly appreciated."

"I do what I can."

Summer walked off, Seth following, bickering on about mindless insults down the hallway. Ryan and Marissa were left alone, and began to walk together. Marissa, afraid it might be awkward, started the conversation.

"Hey, how are you?"

"Good, good..." Ryan's voice trailed off. He couldn't speak. It wasn't because he had nothing to say. It was because- like in his dream the night before- he was mesmerized by her beauty. He didn't understand what was going on. She was captivating him, making his heart pound. He was in a trance. "Are you okay?" Marissa, asked, looking at him with confused eyes. Ryan forced himself to snap out of it. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine," he said, smiling at her. She smiled back, and again, he felt uncontrollable over his emotions. As they stared at each other, the chemistry began to grow. They could feel each other's gaze, as if uncovering their feelings, undressing every part of them. It was scary and they both felt vulnerable, but allowed their stares to search through them. Ryan felt a rush go through his spine.

At that moment, Lindsay walked up behind Ryan, putting her arms on his shoulders and bringing her head forwards for him to see. He felt the unpleasant shock of reality come over the intense passion he felt only moments ago. He was so intrigued with Marissa and could stand with her forever, just looking at her. He suppressed these feelings, denying a force that kept threatening to break out from inside of him. Turning to Lindsay, he said "hey" as she leaned in to kiss him. He awkwardly fumbled through the short gesture, then looked at Marissa out of the corner of his eye. She looked uncomfortable, and Ryan felt guilty for some reason. Lindsay, who didn't sense the tension, turned to Marissa. "Hey!" She said, while leaning heavily on Ryan's shoulder. "Hey, Lindsay." Marissa returned the gesture politely. Ryan turned towards Marissa quickly, but diverted his eyes. He couldn't stand to see her look so uncomfortable, and he secretly wished Lindsay had never come. Marissa broke the awkwardness.

"I should get to class," she said, trying to excuse herself from the situation.

"Bye, Marissa!" Lindsay squealed excitedly. Ryan looked at Marissa and they silently parted, each saddened to have to leave each other. Marissa turned around, folded her arms and walked alone to her class, while Ryan's gaze lingered on her.

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	2. Under My Skin

Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS

Note- Thanks to simcecilia, juzadream, who-am-i 91, BrSoccerChic89, raindrops falling, mystripedskirt, kursk, and NicS311for the great reviews! It really means a lot to me and I hope everyone enjoys this chapter!

"It's not just another Noopsie party. It's a real charity event!" Kirsten was unpacking the P.F. Chang's take out while trying to explain to Sandy the purpose of the next riveting Newport Beach social event. Sandy wasn't convinced.

"Sweetie, A charity event? All of these parties are charity events. If you ask me, they only donate the money as a condolence, so they don't have to feel bad about being rich, spoiled sons of bitches. Because you know if they didn't get to put on their Gucci dresses and Armani suits and drink expensive champagne they wouldn't think to give a penny."

"The champagne is good though, you have to admit that." Kirsten wrapped her arms around her husband. She loved it when he became emotional over some social injustice, especially when he went on angst-ridden tirades about the flaws of Orange County. Smiling, Sandy said suggestively, "You know we have some wine in the liquor cabinet." Kirsten added playfully, "We do?"

"Yes, we do. A merlot from Napa Valley."

"Napa Valley, where 'The Parent Trap' took place. Seth used to love that movie."

At that moment, Seth and Ryan entered the kitchen, and made their way to the take out. Picking up the cold noodles, Seth said, "What movie did I used to love, mom?"

"The Parent Trap sweetie. Remember, you used to know every line. You cried at the end and said it was the most touching thing you had ever seen."

Ryan snickered at this, and looked at Seth amusingly. Taken aback, Seth came to his own defense.

"I was sensitive, okay? And if you ask me, Lindsay Lohan looked pretty good in her youthful wholesome days."

"Seth, she was like, 13," Kirsten replied. Seth decided to change the topic, annoyed at the focus on his younger, traumatic days.

"What are you guys doing anyway," Seth asked his parents, whose arms were still wrapped around each other. "Aren't you to a little bit too old for this flirting thing?"

"Your mother was just telling me about the next Noopsie charity event."

Pulling a cup out of the cabinet, Ryan asked what this one was for. Kirsten began to explain that her company was hosting a fundraiser to donate money to the Red Cross. "We haven't been to a Newport party in a while actually," Ryan commented. "In fact, I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually looking forward to it. It, might be-I don't know-refreshing." Ryan thought back on the times he spent with Marissa last year at these kinds of parties, and he smiled to himself. Seth seemed alerted by his comment. "He's famished! He's famished! He doesn't know what he's talking about anymore. He must eat. Somebody feed the poor boy!" And with that, the family sat down for dinner.

* * *

The next morning, Lindsay and Ryan walked down the hallway to the school café. Lindsay was chattering excitedly about the party the next night. "So, if you think about it, this is my first official Newport Beach party. I mean, there was Chrismukkah, and Mr. Cooper's goodbye party, but those didn't include the Orange County society as a whole. I'm excited! I feel so guilty, like I'm giving into the superficiality of a typical rich county fancy ball gown type party where all the kids go to some beach house afterwards and get drunk, but-" Ryan cut her off. "It's just a party," he said. Lindsay, slightly taken aback, began inquiring.

"Are you okay? You seem a little out of it today. Is there something wrong?"

"No," said Ryan. "I'm fine." He made his way up to the counter and ordered two coffees.

"Well, do you not want to go? Because if you don't want to, we could stay at your place. Rent a movie, hang out?" She touched Ryan's chest with her finger suggestively. Ryan handed her a cup of coffee. "No, I want to go." Then he thought, he did want to go, but not to be with Lindsay…

He shut the idea out of his mind. Lindsay, he reminded himself, was pretty, intelligent, and safe. He forced a smile and kissed her politely. Withdrawing his lips from hers, he thought, 'but she isn't Marissa.'

Ryan and Lindsay joined Seth and Summer on the large, comfortable brown couches. Seth was explaining to Summer the art of comics, while she persistently tried to shut him up.

"Cohen. Cohen! Newsflash, since when do I care about The Hulk?"

"Well, sorry Summer, for trying to express to you the fine literature embedded inside these graphic novels. Hi Ryan, Lindsay. Now Lindsay, I'm sure as the intelligent young woman that you are, you have an appreciation for what I am talking about. Do you read comics?"

"Ummm, no. I liked Spider Man though." Summer added, "Oh my gosh! Toby McGuire looked so hot in that movie! His whole, I'm just a normal guy thing was so sexy." Seth rolled his eyes. Ryan, who hadn't really been listening, saw Marissa buying a coffee. He knew what she was getting, a large decaf with half and half and two sugars. He used to tease her for not drinking caffeine. She began to walk away, looking lonely and sad, as if fumbling through another day with no one to turn to. "Marissa!" Ryan called. She turned around, and he smiled. Returning the smile, she walked over to him. "Hey," she said.

"Hey. Were you going somewhere?"

"Oh, no. I was just going to go sit outside at one of the tables."

"By yourself?" Ryan frowned, and Marissa shrugged. "Come on, why don't you sit with us?" Marissa looked at Lindsay, who seemed uncomfortable with the situation. Sensing this, Marissa politely replied, "That's okay, I'm fine. Really." Marissa smiled and walked away, as Summer shouted a "Bye, Coop!" from behind her. Lindsay saw Ryan's gaze following Marissa walk outside.

"I'm gonna go," she said. "I have to get to class."

Ryan turned to her, realizing now why Marissa left. Suddenly he felt torn and horrible. He was neglecting his girlfriend and making her feel miserable and inferior. Ryan stood up.

"Do you need to go now?"

Lindsay half smiled and nodded. "Yeah, my teacher hates me. If I'm late I don't think I will see a free afternoon for a week." Ryan smiled, said "alright," and kissed her gently, trying to convince himself of his feelings for her. Still, it wasn't the same as with Marissa. He watched her walk off, more confused now than before. Why was he allowing himself to feel this way? Everything was fine until he had that dream. Maybe he was letting fictitious thoughts plow through his head. But he knew what he was feeling was real, as real as anything he had ever felt before. He sank back into the couch, and was face by two very intrigued faces. Seth was quick to start the interrogation.

"Summer…look Summer! We are currently witnessing the metamorphosis from the new Post-Chino Ryan Atwood to the brooding Ryan of last year." Ryan glared at Seth with unappreciative eyes. "See it! Do you see that? The brooding eyes! It's like a werewolf who comes out at the full moon!" Summer looked at Seth. "What are you talking about Cohen? Have they taken you off your medication?" Seth had no response except for a sarcastic laugh, and Summer knew that she had defeated him. "Moving on," she began, "what was that about, with you, Coop and Lindsay? Is there something going on?" Ryan felt relieved to be able to talk to someone. "You sensed the tension too?"

"Please man, it was practically filling the air," Seth offered. Did something happen that we don't know about?"

Ryan considered it. No, nothing had happened. He hadn't _done_ anything. And yet, he knew that there was something going on. He didn't want to run from his emotions. He just wasn't ready to face them.


	3. I breathe Love

Disclaimer- I do now own any of these characters

Note- Thanks again for everyone who has read and reviewed this story- kursk, mystripedskirt, raindrops falling, BrSoccerChic89, who-am-I-91, juzadream, NicS311, simcecilia, gqfan4life11, Melissa1987, Sum-41Luva, and Emily-It's awesome to see what you guys think of my story!

* * *

Summer sat in Marissa's chair, applying a coat of black mascara, while Marissa lay on her bed thinking. She couldn't figure out what Ryan's intentions were. He had been looking at her differently lately. The same way he used to. She didn't want to be a fool for him. The feelings were there, they always had been. But she was afraid if she gave into them she would get hurt.

"Coop, this place is so amazing," Summer commented, looking around the large classically designed room. "Seriously, as bad as it is that your mom married Caleb Nichol, you have to admit that this place is awesome." Marissa briefly considered this. It was beautiful, she thought. The whole house was stunning, although she spent most of her time in her room. "Yeah, it is," she said, trying to make some kind of acknowledgement.

Summer had been taking notice of Marissa's melancholy tone throughout the day, and decided to bring it up. She knew what Marissa was like when she was upset, and she couldn't stand to see her when she became that depressed.

"Okay Coop. Slide over," Summer said, sitting next to Marissa on the bed. "What's wrong?"

Marissa wasn't sure she wanted to talk about it. "What? Oh nothing." She looked at Summer, who wasn't buying it. Marissa considered it, and decided it would be good to tell someone about what had been going on in her mind for the past few days. "I don't know Sum. I'm just so, confused."

"About?"

"Ryan."

"Coop! No! You are _not_ going there again. He broke your heart this summer when he left. And things are just starting to go back to normal and he's with Lindsay and-"

"Sum, I know." And she did. Ryan _had _broken her heart. She became devastated over him and finally the sores were beginning to heal. They were friends. It was awkward, but still, there wasn't any drama between them. And Ryan _was_ with Lindsay, she remembered. Right. She felt like hitting herself for being so stupid. Ryan was with Lindsay, and he seemed to adore her. But still-

"But, you're in love with him, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I am."

Suddenly, Marissa felt like a huge weight was lifted off her shoulders. She knew there was no questioning why she was so confused or upset. It was because she was in love. She always had been, and now she was finally letting herself admit it.

The words were resting on her tongue, and they tasted so good. She hadn't felt so happy in a long time. Everything was okay now, because she was in love with Ryan, and she let herself know it. A smile spread across her face.

"Coop, I'm so happy for you! Love. I vaguely remember what that's like…"

"Wait," Marissa started. "What about Zach? He's awesome."

"I know, I know. He's on the water polo team _and _he's sensitive! Guys like that usually only exist in my dreams. But it's not…" Summer wasn't sure if she could say it. "It's not the same…"

"As it was with Seth?"

"I guess that's the problem." Summer commented, knowing it was true.

"When you fall in love, you're stuck there. And Coop, we're stuck." Marissa laughed and closed her eyes. She felt like, for the first time in so long, it was last year again.

* * *

Ryan woke up the next morning to the sound of a knock on his door. It was Lindsay. She came in and brushed Ryan's tousled bed hair with her hand. "Hey sweetie," she said, and sat down on the bed next to him. Ryan felt like he was being intruded upon. He hadn't even had time to process his thoughts, to think about his dreams. But he quickly realized that he didn't remember what he had dreamt about, and felt a little disheartened. It was only in his dreams where he felt it was safe to have Marissa on his mind…

"Sweetie, you're like, half awake," Lindsay said, oblivious to the fact that she was disturbing him.

"What?" Ryan took a second to process what she had said. "Oh yeah. Sorry, I was up late." Lindsay laughed. "Doing what? Playing video games with Seth?" Ryan didn't smile. He was concentrated on a fixed point in front of him, and he shook his head. "No. I was, I was thinking." Lindsay was starting to become highly amused by Ryan's confused looks. She thought he was tired and didn't know what he was saying. But he did.

"And, what were you thinking about?" She teased. Ryan snapped out of it. He couldn't have very well said he was thinking about Marissa. He wasn't _that_ out of it. "Oh, I don't remember." He smiled. Lindsay patted the blanket on top of his leg. "Okay, then. Well, you go get dressed and I'll meet you in the kitchen." Lindsay was walking towards the door, shaking her head and laughing.

"Wait," Ryan said. Lindsay stopped and turned around.

"What are you doing here again?"

Lindsay was a little taken aback by this. "Last night, you said we'd go shopping today. For a dress. For the party? You said you would help me pick one?"

"Oh yeah," Ryan smiled. "Sorry, I'm tired. I just woke up."

"Um, yeah I can tell. Wake up. Take your time." Lindsay walked out of the pool house, and Ryan plopped his head back on his pillow. "Right." He said to himself. "Wake up."

* * *

Marissa open her eyes, and saw Summer curled up on her side. She still felt her happiness from the night before, and seeing Summer there made her feel even happier. It reminded her of when they were little girls and used to have sleepovers and talk about boys and stay up all night sharing secrets. "Sum. Sum!"

"Mmmmm"…Summer moaned, pulling the covers over her head. A muffled "five more minutes" came out from under the blanket. "I was thinking," Marissa said. "How about we go to South Coast Plaza today. Go shopping? Maybe we can even by new dresses for tomorrow night." Summer snapped up. "Shopping?" She asked enthusiastically. "I love shopping!" Marissa laughed. "I know Sum. So what do you say?"

"I love shopping!"

"I'll take that as a yes, I guess."

"Shoppimg! What a brilliant concept!" She began raiding through Marissa's closet. "Now…what shall I wear?" And with that, she spun around with a cute white blouse with a flowery ribbon draped across the neckline. She held it up against her. "Very cute," Marissa assessed.

"So," Summer started, checking the blouse in the life sized mirror. "How do you think this party's gonna be?"

"Just another Newport Party, I guess."

"Right." Said Summer. "But, the does not mean that we can't look hot."

The girls laughed, and Marissa felt the rush of happiness come over her. It was just like last year. She was about to go shopping with her best friend for this big party the next day. And, she reminded herself, she was in love.

* * *


	4. Quiet Whispers are all we need

Chapter 4

Disclaimer- I don't own these characters

NOTE- Hey everyone. Really sorry for the long wait. But thanks for the reviews of the last chapter and I hope you enjoy this one- the next one will be coming soon, and as you will be able to tell, things between Ryan and Marissa are getting a little more heated. Thanks guys!

Ryan and Lindsay had been driving in awkward silence for about five minutes; the only sounds audible were from a mixed CD they were listening to. Both of them were trying to think of things to say, but nothing came to mind. Finally the silence became unbearable. "What CD is this?" Lindsay asked.

"It's a mix." Ryan paused. He wasn't sure whether he should continue or not, fearing the awkwardness the next sentence may bring. "Marissa made it for me."

"She did?" Lindsay tried to sound casual and neutral, but she felt like she was denying something, suppressing an unspoken truth that she had known for quite some time.

"Yeah," Ryan continued. "It was, about, my third day here. And, I was about to be sent to a group home. You know, the Cohens weren't sure if they could take care of me. Another teenager, it was a lot of responsibility, and I guess they had a lot to think about."

"I could imagine," said Lindsay.

Ryan smiled. "So, I decided I would run away." He laughed a little, recalling the memory. "Seth recommended that I stayed at one of Kirsten's model homes, so the three of us went there and set it up. I remember Marissa and I were talking about music, so she made me this CD. It's called 'The Model Home Mix.'"

Lindsay tried to think of something to say, but she couldn't. She just smiled. Ryan was afraid that he had hurt her, and he turned to her with a charming smile and asked if she liked it.

"Yeah," she nodded. "It's really nice." Ryan turned back to the road as "Hallelujah," by Jeff Buckley came on. He turned it off. He couldn't listen to that song now. It reminded him too much of her, overwhelmed him with uncontrollable feelings…

Lindsay thought that Ryan had sense how uncomfortable she was listening to the CD, and that he had turned it off for her. She felt reassured that she and Ryan were okay, and she sat back smiling, unaware of the silence that had once again fallen upon them.

* * *

"How cute is this dress, Coop?" Marissa and Summer were shopping in an expensive boutique where they normally bought their party attire. They had just found a rack full of beautiful dresses, and the one Summer was showing Marissa particularly stood out. It was white and strapless, and flowed down right above the knees. The back of the dress was low cut, and a silk lace came all the way up in an intricate pattern.

"Wow, It's beautiful." Marissa was in awe of its seamless perfection.

"Go try it on," Summer said.

"What? You found it. It's yours." Marissa really did love it, but she wanted to be fair. "Marissa. This is totally your dress. It's like, screaming your name. Now go try it on and I'll be there in a sec." Marissa didn't know what to say. "Thank you so much." Summer smiled and Marissa walked to the dressing rooms, holding the dress snuggly in her arms.

"Here, rip a piece off." Lindsay had just bought a big soft pretzel and was sharing it with Ryan as they walked through the mall. They had been laughing and having fun, and even holding hands occasionally. Ryan wasn't letting himself think of anything else.

"Oh!" Said Lindsay, pointing to the store that Summer and Marissa were in. "I heard that they had some really beautiful clothes in there. You don't mind if we look do you?" Ryan smiled. "No, that's what we're here for right?"

Summer was flipping through the rack when she saw Ryan and Lindsay come in. "Hey guys!" She shouted. "Hey," they said, making their way over to her. "What are you guys doing here?" Summer asked.

"Oh, we're looking for an outfit. For tomorrow."

"So are we!"

"We?" Lindsay asked.

"Yeah. Coop's in the dressing room. In fact, I'm supposed to meet her in there and see how she looks. Do you want to come? She'll be so surprised to see you."

"Well, I was going to look at the shoes. But Ryan, you go. I'm sure you're getting a little tired of watching me try things on. And maybe after we can all go out for lunch?" Lindsay smiled brightly. She was trying to convince herself that she was okay with Ryan and Marissa being friends-that there was nothing more between them.

"That sounds great!" Said Summer. "Come on Ryan, she's gonna totally flip when she sees you." Summer led Ryan to the dressing room. "Coop! Are you done yet?"

"Yeah Sum. Hold on." Marissa slowly opened the door.

"What do you think?" She asked, before she could lift her head. Ryan was speechless. She looked flawless, perfect. The dress hung on her body in all of the right places, and it made her glow. She saw him after she had asked, and didn't know what to say. She thought she wouldn't see him until the party.

All Ryan was able to muster out was a staggered, "Wow." Marissa smiled.

"Look who I found!" Summer exclaimed. "Shopping with Lindsay for the party tomorrow." Marissa quickly remembered. Right-Lindsay. "Anyway," Said Summer. "I'm going to find a pair of heels for you. You're totally getting this dress. You look gorgeous." Summer walked away, leaving Ryan and Marissa alone.

"You do." Ryan said.

"You think?" Marissa asked. "There's actually a strap in the back that I couldn't reach," Marissa said, fumbling with the lace in the back of the dress. Ryan stepped behind her and breathed in. He felt like he was going to fall over. Slowly he took the lace in his hand and began to follow the delicate pattern that was tied half way. The dress reminded Ryan of the one she had worn last year at her Debutante ball. He had gone over to her house and stood speechless, silently tying it up. Both of them thought of this moment as he started to tie it.

As he laced up the dress, his fingertip brushed her skin. It sent a chill up her spine. His faint touch echoed through her, awakening every part of her. For the brief moment that he stood behind her, they both felt like it had been eternity. Everything seemed to be going in slow motion. Neither of them wanted it to end. The slightest contact made them feel more for each other than they could ever feel for anyone else.

Their moment was broken by Summer, who came back with a pair of heels. "Try these on." Marissa reluctantly walked over and took the shoes. She sat down on the bench next to the dressing room and began to buckle them, when Lindsay came in. "Marissa, hey," she said, obviously astounded by Marissa's beauty in the dress. "Hey Lindsay. Wow, those shoes are adorable!" Lindsay was holding a pair of wedges with a paisley design across them. "Thanks," Lindsay said. She knew no matter what she bought, she would never look as stunning as Marissa at the party. Ryan sensed how again, she felt inferior to Marissa. "Hey, honey. You're going to look beautiful," he said, leaning in to give her an unexpected kiss. Marissa's heart plummeted. Ryan noticed and didn't know what he had just done, but it had made Lindsay happy and that was what was important, right? His girlfriend. Lindsay was his girlfriend, not Marissa. He had made up his mind.

"Coop, Ryan and Lindsay are going to have lunch with us okay?"

"Sure," Marissa said quietly but as sweetly as possible. She just didn't understand. When he was lacing up her dress, didn't he feel the same intensity that she had? How could she just trick herself like that? How could all of the happiness that she had gathered since the night before come crashing down so quickly?

Ryan felt horrible. His heart was aching, both for Marissa and himself. He could feel the pain in her eyes, and it was like a dagger was stabbing him. He didn't want her to think that he was leading her on, or that the past few days-the little awkward romances between them-had meant nothing to him. They had meant so much, and he wished he could run away with her that second, just the two of them- and get away from everything, but he couldn't. He had an obligation and as much as it hurt, he had to stay with Lindsay.

* * *

Marissa sat at lunch, feeling like the fifth wheel. Summer had called Zack to meet up with them, and of course Ryan was with Lindsay. The more she sat there, the more hurt she felt. Ryan was acting as if he had never even dated Marissa, like he didn't even know her. He had his arm around Lindsay, and they sat coddling each other through the entire meal.

"Try mine. It's delicious," Lindsay told Ryan. "Marissa, you've hardly touched your food. Do you want to taste mine?"

"Oh, no thanks Lindsay."

Ryan had been noticing through the whole meal how uncomfortable and hurt Marissa seemed. He didn't know what to do. "Do you want some of mine?" Ryan asked. "No thanks," Marissa choked out the only words she could possibly stutter. She felt like she was on the verge of tears. Lindsay leaned over and put her hand on Ryan's chest. "Are you going to drive me home after lunch? Or…am I coming over to your place?" Ryan continued with his act. Throughout all of lunch he was trying to suppress anything that he felt for Marissa, acting as if he had those kinds of feelings for Lindsay. "I don't know. What do you want to do?" Lindsay giggled. She was so happy that Ryan was showing her that he only wanted to be with her that the words just came out. "I love you," She said, smiling. At that moment, Ryan and Marissa both froze. Ryan could feel Marissa's tearful eyes on him, waiting for his answer.

"I love you too."

Marissa felt the tears coming into her eyes uncontrollably. She had to leave before she made a fool of herself. "I'll be right back," she stuttered, quickly walking away. "Coop!" Summer shouted. "Where are you going?" Marissa reluctantly turned around. "Oh, just to the bathroom." It was evident that she had started to cry- the tears were blurring her eyes and one had stained her cheek. Ryan felt worse than ever. The last thing he ever wanted was to see Marissa cry. But the worst part was knowing that he was the reason why she was crying.

* * *

Ryan pulled into Marissa's driveway. It was eleven at night, but the lights were on inside and normally everyone in Newport was up at this hour. He had come over right after lunch, but she wasn't home.

Julie answered the door and gave Ryan a stiff glare. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see Marissa."

"You two are still hanging out? After everything you put her through this summer?" Ryan didn't say anything. He didn't want to hear everything he had done to hurt Marissa right now- he already felt bad enough and he had come to make things right. "She's in her room, upstairs to the left." Reluctantly, Ryan muttered a "thanks" and walked upstairs to find Marissa.

Ryan knocked softly on Marissa's door, but he didn't hear a response. He knocked once more, an opened the door slowly to find Marissa sleeping on top of her covers. Immediately he was afraid she had passed out from drinking, and he ran over to her bedside, searching the covers for any sign of alcohol. He didn't find any, and felt reassured. Ryan took a moment to look at her lying there. She looked so innocent, like a doll. Her eyelids fluttered involuntarily and he could see her chest move with her breath. Reaching over, he put his hand on her forehead and stroked her hair. Marissa felt this and woke up.

"Hey," said Ryan sweetly.

Marissa smiled. "Hey. What are you doing here?" Ryan inhaled deeply. He wasn't sure what he was going to say. All he knew was that he needed to apologize. But there was so much more to it than that.

"Can I sit down?"

"Sure." Ryan sat on the edge of the bed. "Okay," he started. Marissa looked at him blankly. At this point, she had given up any hope of him returning the same feelings for her. Ryan began again. "I'm sorry. I, I'm, well…I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"Everything." He paused and looked into her eyes. "I don't know how to do this." Marissa wanted to help him clear his mind. "Well, why don't you think about what you want to say, and-"

"No, not that. I mean, I just, I don't know how to do _this._" Marissa felt something come over her, but she knew better than to start questioning him. He lay back on the pillow next to her, and stared up at the ceiling.

"I don't love her." He had let it out, and he thought maybe the words could start to flow.

Marissa felt the feeling grow stronger, but she tried to squash it. It was the same feeling that had made her vulnerable to pain before. But it was undeniable. Ryan rolled over on his side, facing Marissa. "I…I," he began. Marissa's anticipation grew. She waited for the words.

"Can I stay here tonight? Just to sleep."

"Sure."

"Thanks."

Ryan closed his eyes, and Marissa looked at him. He looked uneasy. She knew he had more to say, but she was just happy to be in his presence.

He reached over and took her hand in his. They both smiled and fell asleep facing each other, connected through their touch, and happy to embrace it.


	5. Embrace

Chapter 5

Disclaimer- If only I owned The OC…but I don't

A/N- Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't updated in awhile, computers can be quite an annoyance. In a way, this chapter seems like the end of the story, but don't worry, it's not! Believe me I'm having way too much fun writing it. And it looks like a trip to Hawaii to visit Jimmy will be coming up soon…hope you guys enjoy! Thanks! I'm also not sure if this format turned out right...we'll see, if it doesn't I'll go back and fx it. The sun beamed into Marissa's bedroom. On top of the covers, Ryan lay holding her in his arms, her body resting on his. They breathed in a synchronized motion, making faint waves each time they inhaled. Marissa's head was buried in him, and her lips lingered faintly on his chest. The light became increasingly bright inside the room, and Ryan's eyes fluttered open. Although at first alarmed by the position he was lying in, he quickly became content and comfortable, the way he felt in his sleep. Smiling to himself, he began to stroke her hair with his hands. Marissa sensed his touch and opened her eyes. She lifted her head to see him, and smiled sleepily.

"Good morning," he whispered.

"Good morning"

Marissa rolled over to lie next to Ryan. They curled in on their sides, his hands on her waist and hers on his shoulders. Ryan leaned in toward her, speaking intimately and quietly.

"Did you sleep well?"

Marissa smiled. "Wonderfully. What about you?"

"Same."

They didn't need to have a long withdrawn conversation. No words were necessary, just being in each other's presence was enough. Ryan took his hand off of her hip and caressed the small of her back. She moved her hands down his body, resting them on his heaving chest…

"Open the door Marissa."

Julie had been knocking on the door repeatedly, but neither Marissa nor Ryan heard the sound. It finally registered with hem, bringing them back to an unfortunate reality. Both grimaced at the sound of interruption, wanting to be only with each other and no one else.

"I'm getting dressed, mom."

"Okay, honey. Well, hurry up, because Lindsay's coming over and Cal wants to have a big family breakfast. He's even cooking. I should actually go check on him, make sure he hasn't burned down the entire kitchen."

Ryan winced at the mention of Lindsay's name. He immediately withdrew his hands from Marissa and let the cruel reality bury him in pain. He had completely forgotten about Lindsay and how even though he didn't want to be, he was still with her.

"Yeah, okay mom."

Marissa turned towards Ryan and saw the hesitation in his eyes. Everything that was building had completely fallen apart; all because of the reality that Lindsay was still Ryan's girlfriend. He opened his mouth and felt the pain of every word he spoke.

"I should go."

He looked at her, let their glances connect, knowing that they were sharing the same misery. Marissa couldn't think of anything to say. Instead she stared at him as he slowly left the room, both feeling more alone than ever before.

"You're not even dressed…"

Summer barged into Marissa's room to find her lying on her bed staring endlessly at the ceiling. She made a small attempt to bring her head forward, acknowledging her friend.

"Hey, Sum. Oh, yeah, I don't really feel like going."

"Coop, what happened?"

Marissa paused and fumbled with the edge of her pillow. She thought for a second of a concise pattern of words to express her thoughts, but none came to mind. She fell into hysterics, her entire body shaking. Summer sat down next to her and took her hand. "It's Ryan, isn't it?"

She let the words flow through her tears.

"He's still with her, and he's always going to be. No matter what happens, we'll never be together. I know it. I lost him."

"Sweetie. That's not true. He loves you. But you know Ryan-it takes him time to process his feelings. Just give him awhile."

"I don't…I don't think I can be around him, and not be _with_ him. It just, hurts too much."

Summer looked at her sympathetically. She didn't know what to say, and thought that no words could console Marissa's broken heart. The best she could do was try to make light of the situation. Walking over to the closet, she pulled out the white dress that Marissa had tried on the other day in the mall.

"Okay, Coop. If you don't want to go…I just think this dress looks a hell of a lot batter on you than it does on this hanger. Please? We don't even have to go near Ryan."

Marissa smiled. "Well it _is_ for charity."

Summer handed her the dress. "Here. Go get ready."

Marissa thanked her, and lifted her head a bit higher as she went to get dressed.

The ballroom was brightly lit, with large hexagonal tables spanning the entire floor. Marissa and summer took their seats near the entrance, which seemed to be an unpopular area among everyone else. People continued to file in, and Marissa continued to look for Ryan. She knew that she had told Summer that she didn't want to see him. But still, it was impossible for her not to check for him. Finally, he walked in, Lindsay pulling him into the party by the hand. Her face was jubilant and heavy with blush, while he wore a much less excited and melancholy look. Marissa's heart skipped a beat when she saw him, and she instantly became saddened to see him with Lindsay, who was dragging him over to where they were sitting.

"Marissa! Summer! Hey, you guys were easy to find!"

Lindsay let go of Ryan's hand and took a seat next to Summer. Marissa's gaze was still holding on to Ryan, desperately wanting even a glimpse of eyes contact to keep inside of her. He looked up at her, and for a moment, a flutter of hope filled her heart. His eyes however were quickly diverted to the table as he pulled out his chair and sat down next to Lindsay. _This will be a great night,_ Marissa thought.

"Wow you guys. You look gorgeous."

Summer new she would have to handle the conversation for the night. "Thanks Lindsay, so do you."

"Please. I wish I had half the looks as you guys. And Marissa, I still can't get over that dress, it's absolutely stunning."

"Thanks, Lindsay."

Ryan looked up at Marissa. Now it was him who was trying desperately to make some kind of contact. He wanted to apologize so badly, to leave the party that moment with her alone. But she kept her eyes away from him. He tried so hard to get her to look at him, knowing that she saw him looking at her.

"Oh, Marissa. How funny was breakfast this morning. Those pancakes tasted like rocks. I felt so bad. I just didn't have the heart to say anything." Lindsay laughed at her comment, and Marissa returned a polite smile.

"Yeah, Cal's not much of a cook. Would you excuse me a second?" She got up and walked briskly away, arms crossed and head straight in front of her.

Ryan couldn't take it anymore.

"Wait," he said, turning to Lindsay.

"Yeah?"

"I, I can't do this."

"What are you talking about?"

Ryan turned his head towards Marissa, who was still evident among the faced in the crowd. He didn't need to say anything- Lindsay already knew what he was doing.

"Oh."

"I'm sorry. I just…"

"You love her. I understand."

"Thank you."

"Go get her. She looks lonely."

Ryan smiled and got up, walking quickly to the other side of the room. He placed his hand softly on Marissa's shoulder, who was waiting for the bartender to make her drink. She turned around, saw him, and quickly turned back again.

"Marissa, please."

"Please what, Ryan?"

"I'm so sorry. I know how much I've hurt you."

She didn't bother to turn around and let him see the pain in her eyes. Taking her drink, she thanked the bartender and walked away toward the back entrance. Ryan pulled gently on her arm.

"Get off of me Ryan."

He let go, but didn't cease to follow her outside of the ballroom. She walked down the wide steps and saw him standing on the threshold of the door.

"Why are you following me?"

"Because I need you, Marissa."

"Yeah, and then you'll leave and go running back to Lindsay." Marissa walked towards the bench where she stood the year before when she had found out about her dad's business investments. Ryan walked down the steps to her.

"No, Marissa…" He touched her back and she turned to see him, the tears filling her eyes. "I don't ever want to run from you."

"Then why did you keep leaving me?"

"I was scared. I didn't know what to do."

"Scared of what?"

He took her hand in his. "Of this. I forgot how much I could feel for someone, and it scared me."

"Well, it doesn't matter now, does it? Because, I mean, you're with Lindsay."

"No, no- I ended it."

"Then why is she here with you?"

"I did it just now."

"You did?"

She smiled, and he smiled back, now taking her other hand in his as well.

"Marissa, I want to make this, _us_, work. No matter what."

"It sounds less romantic when you're not about to throw up on the top of a ferris wheel."

They laughed and let their foreheads touch.

"Wait," Ryan whispered.

"I love you."


	6. All I need is this

Diclaimer- aah! these disclaimers are becoming frustrating. I am, unfortunately, not the owner of The O.C. A/N- Hey guys! Thankyou all for the reviews! I love getting them so much, they make my day. This chapter is a little bit shorter, but it leads up to more, so hope you guys enjoy it! 

Chapter 6

Marissa ran to the pool house doors, dragging an out of breath Ryan with her.

"Come on Ryan!"

"I'm coming, I'm coming as fast as I can possibly move."

When they finally got to the doors, he exhaled and leaned over, holding on to his knees for support.

"God, you're slow." Marissa laughed and ruffled the back of his hair. He smiled and held her waist.

"I'm not slow. I'm just tired. It's been a long night."

"Maybe, then, I should go home. You could use the rest."

They both laughed, knowing that she wasn't going anywhere. Ryan pulled her in closer and brought her into a tight hug. He whispered into her ear.

"I guess-I'm not so tired after all."

"That's what I thought. Come on."

She walked into the pool house, and flicked on the light. Ryan stepped in after her, and took her hands in his. He pressed his lips onto hers, closing his eyes and letting the moment unravel slowly. Marissa linked her arms under his and held onto his back.

"I love you," she whispered into his lips.

"I love you too."

He led her over to his bed and paused before it, gently kissing her lips. They laughed and fell onto the bed together, holding each other the entire time. Marissa pressed her body up to Ryan's, pushing him onto his back. He kissed her passionately, one hand combing through her hair, the other resting on the side of her arm. He stroked her skin and moved his hand to the small of her back, kissing up and down her neck as she buried her lips in his untidy hair. He began to unlace the back of her dress, when her phone rang, vibrating from her purse on the night table.

Marissa withdrew her lips from his, and pulled up from him hesitantly. He tucked her hair behind her ears and let her go.

"Do you have to get it?"

"It'll just be a second."

"Okay."

Reluctantly, Marissa got off the bed and stood over her purse. She fumbled inside of it to find the ringing phone, distracted by the heat of being there with Ryan. Finally finding it, she flipped it open and put it up to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey kiddo."

"Daddy!"

Marissa flashed Ryan a wide smile. Even though he was upset that their moment had been interrupted, he was happy that Jimmy had called. He knew how much it meant to her that she heard from him.

"Sorry I haven't called in awhile sweetheart. I've just been, so busy. With the new job and-"

"Daddy, don't worry about it. I'm just happy to hear from you."

"Well, I want to make it up to. What do you say- you and Summer come out here to visit me, huh? How does that sound?"

"That sounds great, except-"

"Except what?"

"I just, don't want to leave Ryan. That's all."

Ryan eyed her worriedly. Was Jimmy calling to have her move in with him? He knew how much Marissa hated living with Julie and Caleb, but he had never really considered the prospect that she might actually leave him.

"You and Ryan are back together?"

"Yeah, we are." She smiled at him sincerely and adoringly.

"Well then, bring him too. And bring Seth. The four of you can use a vacation from that place."

"Tell me about it. You have no idea how much this means to me."

"Marissa, you have no idea what this means to _me_. It's been long enough since I've seen my little girl."

"I love you Dad."

"I love you too Kiddo."

Marissa hung up the phone and looked at Ryan, seeing the trepidation in his face. She smiled brightly at him.

"What-what was that about?"

Trying to postpone the surprise for as long as possible, she set the phone down on the night table and sat down on the side of Ryan's bed.

"We're going to Hawaii."


	7. The Heights

Chapter 7...The Heights "Yes mom, I packed _everything. For the hundredth time._"

Marissa was sitting with Ryan, Summer and Seth in the airport waiting to board. This was her mother's fifth call since they reached the terminal-eighth since they left her house. She kept coming up with excuses to talk to Marissa, and was acting more neurotic than the Cohens.

"Why do you keep calling? I've been on a plane before, and it's not like I'm going to visit a complete stranger. He's my _dad._ I'm going to be fine."

"Ok honey, but you could never be too sure. Tell your father I said hello. And I want you and Ryan sleeping in two separate rooms."

Marissa sighed. "Mom-"

"I still can't believe you took him back after he just left last summer. His departure turned you into an alcoholic whore Marissa, and things were finally starting to get

better-"

"I can't believe you."

She flipped her phone closed and tried to hold back the tears, but knew that they were visibly welling up in her eyes. Ryan rubbed her back gently and leaned into her.

"Hey, are you okay?"

Marissa had vowed to herself that she wouldn't bring Ryan down with her problems this time. She wanted their relationship to last, and she blamed herself for keeping them apart for so long. If she could at least keep her family issues to her self, then Ryan wouldn't have to deal with them, and they wouldn't become part of their life together.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she lied.

Ryan kissed her lips softly and she gladly returned the gesture.

"Now boarding first class," the attendants voice echoed throughout the gate. Marissa and Ryan separated and the four of them got on line with their passes ready.

"God, why do they make these things so hard to **fit an average-sized suitcase in!**" Summer said, her voice growing louder from the frustration of trying to push her heavy carry on into the cabin above.

Seth noticed Summer struggling, and the least he could do was offer her help. They weren't on the best of terms, and hadn't spoken more than five words to each other since the ride to the airport. He wanted to be there for her as much as possible on this trip, even if it meant shoving her oversized luggage into the cabin.

"Here, let me get that."

"Thanks Cohen." A slight but sincere smile formed on Summer's face.

"Okay," Marissa started. "We've got seats, A-D in row 2, right? So…"

"I'll sit alone," Seth offered. "Marissa and Ryan, you guys will want to be together, and Summer, I'm sure you want to sit with Marissa so…"

The three smiled as Marissa gestured for Ryan to sit. He turned around and looked back at her, his face fearful and trying to form words.

"Right," Marissa smiled. "Fear of heights. The window seat might not be such a good idea."

"Yeah…thanks."

The four of them took their seats and started to adjust their bags when two overweight men confronted Seth's row. The first man spoke:

"Excuse me. I think we're sitting next to you."

Not wanting to be rude or show his disappointment, Seth smiled politely.

"Okay, umm, hold on a sec."

He got up and stood in the aisle, letting the two men get into the row. Summer looked up at him with sad but appreciative eyes. She felt guilty that he was stuck alone, next to strangers who barely fit into their seats. Seth however, avoided eye contact. He didn't want to seem like he was doing this to get Summer back. In truth, he just wanted her to be happy.

Looking down at the plane's carpeting, she wondered why he had avoided looking at her. Had things become so awkward that he couldn't even stand to make eye contact? Marissa noticed Summer's sadness, but thought it was for a different reason.

"Sum, this trip is going to be awesome. You won't even _think_ about Zach. Believe me, he wasn't worth it."

Summer's face began to redden. She didn't think that Seth knew what had happened with her and Zach yet, and she waited for him to start bombarding her with questions. To her surprise, he didn't seem to even move a beat. Instead, he kept on with his activities, filing an extensive range of comic books into the seat back pocket in front of him.

Although he kept his cool on the outside, his mind began racing a mile a minute. _Summer and Zach broke up? Since when? Maybe that's why she's so quiet. Does that mean…maybe this trip…I mean Ryan and Marissa are back together and…oh Seth, don't be such an idiot…just because they broke up doesn't mean anything…did she dump him? What did he do to her?_

"Sir," a flight attendant had been trying to get his attention for quite a few seconds.

"Do you need headphones sir?"

"What? Oh I'm fine, I mean I have, yeah, thank you anyways," a flustered Seth managed to get out.

The flight attendant continued to move down the plane's aisle and Seth leaned his head back in his chair.

_This is going to be an excellent couple of hours_, he sarcastically thought.

The plane began speeding down the runway and Ryan instinctively grabbed onto Marissa's hand. She laughed and placed her free hand on his shoulder.

"Ryan, you're going to be fine."

Ryan was breathing heavily, trying to look at Marissa and avoid the window at the same time.

"Right, as long as you don't try to tip the plane over this time."

"Hey! You got what you deserved. Besides, that was a ferris wheel. Now we're gonna be _at least_ 11,000 feet in the air…" She smiled playfully at him.

"Marissa…"

"Yes, Ryan?"

"Could you- shut the window?"

Laughing, Marissa closed the window and squeezed his hand tightly.

"Ryan. We are going to _Hawaii_. We're gonna be away from Newport for a week, no school, no water polo players, no my mom…"

"Yeah, what did you mom say on the phone before? You seemed pretty upset…"

He leaned into her, sincerely interested in what she had to say. She opened her mouth to speak but cut herself off.

"Oh, nothing-she was just being Julie Cooper… Nichol."

Ryan laughed and felt the plane begin to take off into the air. He started to mumbled faint "oh my Gods" under his breath. Marissa smiled to herself, knowing exactly what to do.

"Look," she said turning to Ryan and placing her hand on his shoulder. "Maybe you just need something to take your mind off of it."

Ryan smiled deeply. "Well, I'm pretty sure we're more than fifty feet in the air now…"

Marissa finished his sentence. "…which is a little bit higher than a kick off carnival ferris wheel."

Ryan leaned into her more closely, pressing his forehead against hers.

"Got something in my mind?" He asked, smiling.

With that, he took her face in his hand and pulled her towards him, kissing her lips passionately.

Marissa withdrew for a moment. "My thoughts exactly."

They continued to kiss, and Ryan whispered into her ear.

"You know, I'm being to think that heights aren't so bad after all."

**A/N- Hey everyone! Thanks so much for the reviews. Please keep giving me feedback, I hope you guys are enjoying this. Sorry if the chapters are too short, please tell me if you'd like them to be a little longer. I just like saving the longer ones for more dramatic scenes, and there will be some coming up soon. Anyway, I love you all so very much…Ryan and Marissa FOREVER!**


	8. Just A Ride

Disclaimer- I don't own the O.C.

A/N- Hey everyone! Thank you a tremendous amount of times for the reviews, they are really inspiring, and please keep writing them! This chapter was originally part of a longer one, but I decided to split it into two parts, because I found it to be more effective that way. The next chapter, which was originally part of this one, will be coming later today if you guys enjoy this. Also, there is a lot of Seth/Summer in this, but tons of R/M will be coming soon, so don't worry.

Summer poured the last drop of Pepsi into her ice filled plastic cup, and put away her Teen Vogue. She had flipped through every page, trying to cure her boredom and distract herself from Seth, who seemed to be dozing off contently listening to music. Unfortunately, pretty photos and melting ice couldn't take her mind off of him.

On the other side of the aisle, Seth pretended to be in a deep sleep, with his eyes closed and a thin blue blanket pulled up to his neck. However, he was still thinking of Summer, how close she was to him, and how distant their relationship had become. For a while, he had tried pursuing her with the notion that he actually had a chance. But overtime it started to become overdone- the trips to her bedroom, the incessant overanalyzing…it just became _too much, _even for Seth Cohen.

Next to Summer, Ryan and Marissa were truly asleep. Her head rested on his shoulder, and her body was curled towards his. She held his arm in hers, and his hand rested on her thigh. In his sleep, Ryan started to nuzzle his head on top of Marissa's, waking her up. She laughed and whispered over him to Summer.

"Hey."

"You're finally up! This has been such a boring ride Coop."

"Well what about Seth?"

"Cohen?" Summer nodded her head towards the other row, showing Seth, who still appeared to be sleeping.

Marissa looked at him suspiciously. She thought it was almost impossible for Seth to be in such close quarters with Summer and not be thinking about her.

"I think he's faking," she said.

Seth let out a loud, believable snore in protest to the accusation.

"Or not…"

Sighing, Summer leaned back in her chair and then drew her head forwards again, resting her arm on the tray table.

"I don't know Coop. I have a feeling this trip is gonna be so awkward…between me and him…"

Seth began listening intently, hoping that Summer wouldn't say anything he would regret hearing.

"Well, does he know about Zach and you?"

"No. Not unless Zach told him something. Which I doubt, because he'd never want to make himself look like the bad guy."

"So I mean, now that Zach's gone…would you…ever consider getting back together with him?"

Seth's head jolted sideways, but it went unnoticed by the girls. This was the moment he had been waiting for. He had dreamed of hearing Summer say it for months; that she still loved him, even when she was with Zach, she knew that he was the only one for her.

Pausing, Summer drew in a breath and laughed faintly, which alarmed Seth. What was she laughing about? This was _not_ how it was supposed to go…never in a million years did he think she would actually _laugh_ about the idea of them getting back together. He tried to calm himself down as Summer continued.

"You know, last year, when Anna and Seth had broken up…he came over to my house."

Marissa already knew this story, but let her friend retell it. She knew very well that Summer wasn't over Seth, and everything had been bottling up inside of her for quite a while.

"And, he told me the reason he broke up with Anna was because, it had always been me."

_Great, she thinks I am a pathetic loser. That's just…wonderful. _Seth cringed inside. _Why am I subjecting myself to this torture? I should just turn up Boyz 2 Men really, really loud right now and cry myself to sleep._

Instead, he instinctively continued to listen to Summer.

"I know this is going to sound horrible, but sometimes…when I was with Zach…"

_Here it comes...sometimes when she was with Zach she wondered why she dated a lowlife like me in the first place?_

"Sometimes, I would fantasize about running back to Cohen. Telling him what he told me that day…I've tried to fight it, I've tried to deny it, but it's always been him. Always."

Seth's head jerked forwards. Everything else around him went away. This moment was perhaps the happiest he had been in months. The tension released from his body, and he smiled to himself as How Good It Can Be, by The 88, came rushing through his headphones. For the first time since the plane took off, he was able to fall into a deep, content sleep.

"Ryan. Hey. Ryan. Wake up. We're almost there."

Marissa was gently prodding Ryan's shoulder. He had been asleep the entire ride, and the plane would be landing in less than twenty minutes. He opened his eyes slowly.

"Hmmmmm…what time is it?"

"Time for you to wake up. We're landing soon."

"I slept through that entire ride?"

Marissa smiled at him, and took his hand.

"Hey, look out the window."

"What? Marissa…that's not funny."

"No really, look. It's okay."

Reluctantly, Ryan shifted his glance towards the window. Outside, green masses of land faded into the ocean, framed by a bright yellow lining. Pools of turquoise water lay still below them. The scenery put the world in an entirely different perspective, and was one of the most magnificent things Ryan had ever seen.

"It's amazing."

"It is," Marissa whispered in agreement.

He looked at her with soft eyes, taking in her appreciation for the view. Sometimes, he felt like she knew something that no one else did, like a secret she shared only with him. Looking out the window, he could feel her thoughts, and they connected.

Lifting his hand, he stroked her cheek, and she turned to face him. Ryan thought of something to say, but at moments like these, words were trivial. Instead he leaned in and kissed her gently, letting his hand travel through her hair.

"This trip is going to be amazing," he whispered

"I know. And, thank you."

Ryan looked at Marissa with puzzled eyes.

"For what?"

"For coming with me."

"Marissa, you don't need to thank me for that-"

"I know."

She looked down and stroked both of his hands with hers. Their foreheads bumped gently, and they paused for a moment before she continued. Lifting her eyes to his again, Marissa finished her thought.

"But you didn't have to."

Ryan looked at her with sincere eyes.

"I wanted to. I want to be part of your life, Marissa."

She laughed.

"If you're in it, then I want to be part of it too."


	9. Wild Honey

Disclaimer- I don't own the O.C.

A/N- Hey guys! Thanks so much for the reviews, and please keep writing them, because they mean a lot to me and I take your feedback into consideration. I hope you all enjoy this chapter!

Marissa was the first one to see Jimmy, standing next to the baggage claim with a sign in his hands that read "Dysfunctional Teens from Newport Beach." She ran over to him, almost knocking him over with her hug.

"Daddy!"

"Hey kiddo," Jimmy managed in a stifled voice, unable to speak from Marissa's huge embrace.

Ryan, Seth and Summer made their way over to the two of them.

"Hey guys."

All three offered him wide smiles and warm hellos.

"What's with the sign?" Ryan asked.

"Can't a guy have a sense of humor?"

Seth took this moment as his chance to intervene with some sort of witty statement, which tended to be his natural greeting.

"Jimmy, have you completely forgotten? You're talking to Ryan here-"

Ryan shot Seth a sardonic smirk, silencing him as usual. The five of them stood around in a circle, taking everything in. They were all so overwhelmed- seeing Jimmy, being together in Hawaii, getting away from Newport for a week…

Jimmy broke their daze.

"Guys, did you check your bags? Or are we just gonna stand here…"

"Umm, just Sum…"

Marissa laughed at the thought of her friend having packed an entire suitcase full of shoes, makeup and accessories.

"Right, Cohen, come help me with my bags."

Summer waited for him to start whining and arguing with her, just like old times. But now, Seth knew that was what she wanted. The best way to get under her skin was to act cool and complacent, as if he could care less that they were in one of the most romantic spots of the world together.

He agreed with a short "Okay Summer," and walked over to the belt as piles of suitcases began to roll through the airport.

Confused, Summer followed, leaving the other three by themselves. Jimmy was still amazed that he was finally getting to see them.

"It's been too long guys."

"Yeah, yeah it has."

Ryan offered Jimmy his hand, and was pulled into a tight hug instead. He was taken aback at first, but then gladly accepted.

Meanwhile, Seth and Summer had been waiting for her luggage to come by. They stood in complete silence, and it was making both of them incredibly uneasy. However, Seth didn't show it. Instead he stood, tapping his foot, and looking out at the Hawaiian landscape through large glass windows.

"So, Hawaii, pretty cool, huh?"

Seth turned back around, but didn't look at Summer. He focused his attention on the luggage in front of him, trying to find her suitcase. His response sounded casual and disinterested.

"Yep, pretty cool. Is that your bag?"

A large, Louis Vuitton suitcase was approaching them. Seth leaned down to check the nametag, confirming it was Summer's. He then hiked it up on his shoulder, and started to walk back to where the three were situated.

"It has _wheels_, Cohen."

Summer smiled to herself, walking behind Seth.

_Okay, I know him too well. Any second now he should turn around and complain that he's a man, and its bad enough that he has to carry around her designer luggage, and how he doesn't want to make his first impression in Hawaii as a rich, spoiled teen with a questionable sexual orientation._

"Good point." He put the bag down and wheeled it the rest of the way.

Summer was completely flustered. Why was he acting like this? What happened to her neurotic, sarcastic, mumbling Seth Cohen? She sighed and followed along.

_What am I doing?_ Seth thought._ Proudly wheeling a designer suitcase through an airport to prove a point? Next thing you know I'm gonna be bobbing my head to the newest Britney Spears single. What am I trying to prove anyway? God, I don't even remember. But it seems to be bothering Summer, which means it must be working._

The five of them finally reassembled, and followed Jimmy to his car. Before getting in, they stood outside and took in the landscape. Sure, they lived in one of the most beautiful counties on the mainland. Even so, Hawaii was still breathtaking, and the four teens were amazed to be there.

The car ride was short, only about fifteen minutes from the airport. Marissa sat in the front with her dad, while the other three squeezed into the back- an oddly quiet Seth in the middle.

"I can't tell you happy I am to have you guys here. I mean, Hawaii's great and all, but still-"

"It's not the same."

Marissa finished her father's thought and smiled at him.

"Yeah, no, it's really not."

Jimmy paused to reflect on the town he missed, and then continued to speak.

"So, how's it going there? What scandals did I miss out on? Or did all the drama cool down once Jimmy Cooper left?"

Marissa laughed.

"Oh no, you missed a lot."

"Yeah? Fill me in."

None of the four teens felt like recapping the turbulent past few months in Newport Beach. That was what they were trying to escape from, and this vacation was supposed to be as normal as possible, free from drama.

Summer, whose words had been few since the beginning of the ride, decided to comment.

"You know Mr. Cooper, what happens in The O.C., stays in the O.C."

Everyone laughed and decided to drop the subject. After all, Jimmy had moved to get away from the chaotic drama, hadn't he?

A few minutes went by of complete silence. The situation was so overwhelming that no one found speaking necessary. Soon after, they drove down a large strip of land, much like that of Newport Beach. A large house mounted on the top of a hill appeared in their vision.

"This is it," Jimmy announced.

"Wow, dad. This is amazing."

"Yeah, well. Good job."

Jimmy turned towards Marissa and smiled, while Seth finally decided to speak up.

"I feel like we've been thrown into an alternate world of Newport Beach."

Ryan laughed. "Are you gonna add that into the comic book?"

"I like the way you think Ryan…but remember man, I'm the brains, you're the brawn. I'm the one coming up with the executive decision here."

"Seth, I'm not even part of your comic book, relax."

By this point, Jimmy was completely confused with what Ryan and Seth were talking about.

"What comic book?"

Seth was about to explain the animated world of Orange County to Jimmy, when Summer spoke up.

"Don't even ask Mr. Cooper, or we'll probably never get out of this car."

"Oh, really, Summer? Well it's nice to see you're so dedicated to the team project."

"Shut it Cohen."

Summer smiled and slapped Seth's upper arm with the back of her hand.

"Ow, God. We're gonna have to write in an evil double personality for Miss Vixen, aren't we?"

"That's what the rage blackouts are for."

"Right."

Seth laughed as Summer got out of the car. He leaned back in the seat and realized that they had just had a normal conversation. And it was completely painless. Well, sort of. Stroking his arm from where he had been hit, he smiled to himself. Maybe, he didn't have to prove any point to her. Maybe, this vacation would reunite them naturally, and Seth Cohen's superpowers could finally take a rest.

"Dad…this place is amazing."

Jimmy was giving the grand tour of his new home, which proved to be absolutely astounding. The interior was decorated with contemporary furniture, and bright welcoming colors. However, it did seem a little much for one person.

"Don't you get lonely?" Ryan asked.

"Yeah, I do."

There was a solemn moment between the five of them, and Jimmy's eyes reflected his sadness. Quickly, he brought the conversation to a more uplifting note.

"But now you guys are here, so don't worry about it. We're gonna have fun, okay?"

"Yeah. Of course we are."

Marissa's words were sincere and comforting, and the topic changed immediately.

"Oh…I forgot to show you guys the best part."

A smile appeared on Jimmy's face as he ushered the kids to the back of the house. A moment later, they were standing in front of a pair of glass doors, covered by transparent blue curtains.

"Are you ready?" He asked.

The four teens stared at him blankly, waiting to see what was so extraordinary. Jimmy dramatically heaved the doors open, revealing one of the most beautiful beaches any of them had ever seen. Right outside the doors was a light wooden porch, with two steps towards mounds of white sand. The strip of beach, literally ten feet away from where they stood, looked smooth and pure, leading the way to a vast turquoise ocean.

"It's beautiful."

Marissa was the first one to speak after the four had remained speechless for what seemed like several minutes. She walked outside onto the porch, and rested her hands along the railing. Ryan watched her from inside the house. Her hair was blowing lightly behind her, and he could feel her watching the tide rush up the shore. Slowly, he walked up behind her, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Marissa looked over her shoulder and smiled at him.

"Hey."

Ryan wrapped his arms around her waist, and pulled his head forwards, resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Hi," he whispered.

They turned around to find that the three others were no longer standing in the doorway.

"I guess we're missing the tour," Ryan said.

Marissa smiled, and took his right hand in hers.

"Come with me." She began to lead him off the porch and out to the beach.

"Where are we going?"

Instead of answering, she brought him to the shore, right before the water met the sand. They stood, holding hands, and watched the sun set in a pink sky, soon to disappear behind the foggy horizon.

"I never thought I would see a more beautiful sunset than the one in Newport."

Ryan smiled and they stood in silence for a few minutes, until Marissa spoke again.

"Promise me something Ryan."

"Sure…"

Marissa turned her face from Ryan's back to the fading sun. She paused for a moment before she spoke, and drew in a breath, intriguing him of what she would ask.

"Before the end of this vacation, let's sleep out here, and watch the sun go down together."

She turned her face back to his, and saw the element of surprise in his eyes.

"That's it?" he asked.

Marissa didn't respond and looked down at the sand below her. He realized that, for whatever reason, this was important to her, and it quickly became just as meaningful to him.

"Okay."

She lifted her face back to his and smiled. He hadn't asked why, and that was one of the things she loved about him. Just knowing that it meant something to her was enough for him to understand.

A few minutes later they came back in the house, their shoes full of sand.

"I wonder if your dad's done showing them around yet," Ryan asked, as he emptied the sand out of his boots and onto the porch.

Marissa ignored his comment.

"Wow, Ryan, we really need to get you a new pair of shoes."

"Excuse me?"

"Well, we're in Hawaii and you're wearing boots…"

"Oh, I see, and is there a problem with that?"

He leaned into her in his playful way, and she started to laugh and push his chest lightly.

"I think we'll take you shopping for a pair of _nice_ shoes this week."

"Well I happen to like my boots."

Ryan smiled and grabbed on to her arms, pulling her closer to him.

"Oh really, you do?"

"Yes, I do."

Laughing, Marissa quickly snatched the boots that were sitting on the porch, and ran out to the beach with them in her hands.

"Hey!" Ryan shouted, running after her. She felt him approaching her, and slowed down, eventually stopping short and letting him catch her. They tumbled over into the sand, his arms wrapped around her waist. They were both laughing hard, and he pulled the shoes out of her hands and placed them back down on the sand.

"Who do you think you are, huh?"

Marissa thought for a second, and the appropriate answer quickly surfaced in her mind. Turning toward him, she leaned in and whispered seductively, "who ever you want me to be…"

Gently laughing, he smiled at her and then turned on to his back, looking up at the sky, now engulfed in evening shades of pink and blue.

"I'm never gonna live that one down, am I?" He asked, calm and settled in the sand.

Marissa paused, and then answered him.

"No, you're not."

Ryan smiled and began to reflect on the first day he had come to Newport.

"That was a long time ago, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, it was, in ways…"

"What do you mean?"

"When you first came to Newport…well, it feels like a thousand years ago. I remember, everyone thought my life was perfect, and I guess, from an outsider's perspective it was. I had the richest father in the county, I had been dating the captain of the water polo team, my friends always invited me to the fastest parties…but, I hated it. No one could tell how unhappy I was, how much I just wanted out, of all of it…"

"Marissa…"

Ryan put his hand over hers, and stroked her hair. It felt so painful for him to watch her recount her past…he just wanted them to be happy, now, and not have to remember everything they went through when they felt alone and imprisoned.

"No, wait," she said.

"That was what my life was like, everyday, until that day you walked down from the Cohen's house, with a cigarette hanging out of your mouth, and this tough look on your face, like you couldn't be bothered by the world."

Ryan thought about this, and how right she was. He had tried too hard to act like the world couldn't hurt him, only because he knew how vulnerable he really was.

"But, I saw right through that..."

Marissa smiled and put her free hand in his hair.

"And, I guess, that's what automatically drew me to you…you were just like me. Trying to put up this front, that the world couldn't touch you, like you were invincible, when really, you felt like you were dying inside..."

It was hard for him to comment on this. He knew that everything she had said expressed how he felt exactly, and he didn't want to try to explain it in his own words. Instead, he asked,

"So how doesn't it feel like a thousand years ago?"

She thought about this, knowing the answer could be long and reflective. But, it didn't seem necessary to explain. Instead, she answered,

"Well, you still smell the same…"

They laughed, and Ryan leaned into her. He stroked her forehead with his thumb, and kissed her gently on the lips.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too."

He smiled, and before kissing her again, he said,

"Well, I guess that's one other thing that hasn't changed."


End file.
